At the beginning of the semester I worked on putting together a 9 week series for our middle schoolers that was highly experiential. It was based on a book called the Kingdom Experiment published by The House Studio. The point of the series was to reiterate the truths that Jesus expressed to his listeners in Matthew chapter 5. Every week, the same point was made, that there is a kingdom and we can experience it here on earth. Each week I illustrated one more way to experience the kindgom, and challenged the students to test it out for themselves with experiments they could do at home individually or together as a community with our youth group. The series built incredible momentum, the stories coming from the experiments were amazing and life-changing, and we saw a glimpse of what God could do if we tried, even just a little, to live as Jesus asked us to live.
Now the series is over and I've picked a shorter three week series for the month of November. It's a great series with awesome content---but there is something missing. It's falling flat and the students don't seem to be connecting like they did for the nine weeks before. I'm chalking it up to my short memory--and the fact that I'm not offering a key ingredient that I was offering for the nine weeks before: an overwhelmingly obvious point that they can experience--repeatedly.
Here's what I should know about middle school ministry that I need to remember each week as I plan and prepare messages.
1) Middle school students need a big idea. They need one thing. They don't mind if you share it for 9 weeks straight. If it's good, if it's life-changing, if you are giving them fresh material every week, they really don't care if you stay on it.
2) Middle school students need to hear a story. Every week during the Kingdom Experiment I shared a true story of someone living that beatitude out or experiencing the blessing or pain that was associated with it. The story ties them into something bigger than themselves--which is something hard to do when young teens are just beginning to begin to differentiate between who they are and who others are around them.
3) Middle school students need a challenge. They like to have ties to the club you're inviting them to. What do we give them to take home and "own"? What do we give them to do? What opportunities do we provide for them to flex what you're teaching as an individual?
As I plan for winter messages I'm thinking about these things. I'm asking myself "What am I doing to articulate Scripture in a way that keeps teenagers wanting more, growing more, and connecting more? I'll begin by celebrating the momentum and even the occasional lulls in the program--because in them both I've learned things that are making me better.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
The Underbelly of Youth Ministry
Let’s face it, there are a lot of youth leaders out there with kiddos. For nearly a decade I’ve watched youth workers at conventions chase toddlers through lobbies, push double strollers, feed babies, and walk out of sessions because the baby didn’t necessarily like the main stage speaker.
That wasn’t me for a long time. In fact, I wondered how someone could be that crazy to haul a little one to something so big and busy. That was until I found myself sitting in a “Lost and Found” performance with a one year old, after 10 PM. Yeah, it happened. I became a mommy in full time youth ministry. With husband in tow (actually, he does most of the towing) we travel around to schools, church, youth group, youth ministry events, trainings, and other places with child.
Our toddler is now nearing the age of three and we’re finally at the point where we are starting to see the light. Even though she still isn’t sleeping through the night, hardly eats, and never wants to take off her princess dress, we were starting to get the hang of things as they have changed—in life, in marriage, in parenting, in ministry—then we got pregnant again. (Cue the scary music.)
While we’re super happy about baby number two, it was sort of freaky thinking about how this changes things…again. We are at a point in our lives when things never seem to slow down. What I would give for those college days when we could sleep three hours in between classes, watch movies on the weekends, and eat cereal for dinner every night!
Youth ministry changes when you have children. It changes when you are eight months pregnant and can’t make it through a ten-minute youth sermon because you’re too winded to finish. Youth ministry changes when you start thinking about “your little girl” going to the lock-in someday. Your perspective starts to widen and you start making decisions with different things in mind.
I’m not saying that you become a better youth minister when you have children, because I was able to give differently in youth ministry before having children, ways that I often miss now (i.e. staying up all night telling scary stories in a tent during the fall retreat) However, I am saying that having children gives us new insight. Just like traveling to another culture where we learn new things and come back looking at life differently, it’s the same for youth ministers who become parents, we start seeing things through a different lens.
The childbearing years may seem like the most tiresome and unrelenting years of our lives because there are so many things to juggle. But I’m learning to love this season and the lessons it’s teaching me (and there are so many lessons!).
I’m loving the middle school kid who wanted to know last week “if I was really pregnant” (I’m due in two months). I’m loving the volunteers that support me when I’m needing help (there are just some things I can’t physically do right now). I’m loving the students who continue to prefer deep relationships over a cool youth pastor who can take a whipping from a paint ball gun (For the record, I have never been able to do that, prego or not). I’m loving my husband that walks beside me when I lose my mind for no apparent reason (Happening more often that I would like). I’m loving that I get to do exactly what I want to do with my life, and be a mom—full-time. Not many people get this sort of gift and for that I’m seriously grateful.
I’m sure there are many who share these feelings, people grateful to serve both their families and the church at the same time, may we consider how blessed we truly are.
That wasn’t me for a long time. In fact, I wondered how someone could be that crazy to haul a little one to something so big and busy. That was until I found myself sitting in a “Lost and Found” performance with a one year old, after 10 PM. Yeah, it happened. I became a mommy in full time youth ministry. With husband in tow (actually, he does most of the towing) we travel around to schools, church, youth group, youth ministry events, trainings, and other places with child.
Our toddler is now nearing the age of three and we’re finally at the point where we are starting to see the light. Even though she still isn’t sleeping through the night, hardly eats, and never wants to take off her princess dress, we were starting to get the hang of things as they have changed—in life, in marriage, in parenting, in ministry—then we got pregnant again. (Cue the scary music.)
While we’re super happy about baby number two, it was sort of freaky thinking about how this changes things…again. We are at a point in our lives when things never seem to slow down. What I would give for those college days when we could sleep three hours in between classes, watch movies on the weekends, and eat cereal for dinner every night!
Youth ministry changes when you have children. It changes when you are eight months pregnant and can’t make it through a ten-minute youth sermon because you’re too winded to finish. Youth ministry changes when you start thinking about “your little girl” going to the lock-in someday. Your perspective starts to widen and you start making decisions with different things in mind.
I’m not saying that you become a better youth minister when you have children, because I was able to give differently in youth ministry before having children, ways that I often miss now (i.e. staying up all night telling scary stories in a tent during the fall retreat) However, I am saying that having children gives us new insight. Just like traveling to another culture where we learn new things and come back looking at life differently, it’s the same for youth ministers who become parents, we start seeing things through a different lens.
The childbearing years may seem like the most tiresome and unrelenting years of our lives because there are so many things to juggle. But I’m learning to love this season and the lessons it’s teaching me (and there are so many lessons!).
I’m loving the middle school kid who wanted to know last week “if I was really pregnant” (I’m due in two months). I’m loving the volunteers that support me when I’m needing help (there are just some things I can’t physically do right now). I’m loving the students who continue to prefer deep relationships over a cool youth pastor who can take a whipping from a paint ball gun (For the record, I have never been able to do that, prego or not). I’m loving my husband that walks beside me when I lose my mind for no apparent reason (Happening more often that I would like). I’m loving that I get to do exactly what I want to do with my life, and be a mom—full-time. Not many people get this sort of gift and for that I’m seriously grateful.
I’m sure there are many who share these feelings, people grateful to serve both their families and the church at the same time, may we consider how blessed we truly are.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
You're invited to an exclusive advance showing of To Save A Life. RSVP HERE.
Make sure you bring the other pastors at your church — they won't want to miss this!
WATCH the TRAILER | Visit the Leader Website | Visit the official Movie Website
To Save A Life is an indie movie about the real-life challenges of teens and their choices. It's the kind of movie youth workers, parents and student leaders can get behind: a project inspired by a passion to reach teenagers with life-affirming entertainment. To Save A Life dives into raw youth culture and dares to ask our youth: What's your life going to be about?
But it's more than just a movie—it's a feature-length film with follow-up opportunities like a youth group curriculum, a teen devotional, and a church-wide campaign centered around the biblical concept that we're never more like Jesus than when we're reaching out to the hurting and lonely.
Be prepared to be entertained and inspired to live differently. After you see it, you'll want every teenager in your life and ministry to see the movie when it comes to theaters this January.
I worked on the Devo2Go project. I'm excited about the potential these mp3 devotions have to impact the lives of our students. You can preview every week here.
About the Movie: To Save A Life was written by Jim Britts, a seasoned youth pastor with a film degree from BIOLA University, and brought to life by a team of gifted Hollywood professionals. Produced by New Song Pictures, a team of filmmakers from Oceanside, CA, To Save A Life is being brought to the big screen through Outreach Films, an organization that equips churches with film and visual media tools to reach their communities for Jesus Christ. Outreach Films has been involved in important Christian films such as The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, The Passion of the Christ, FIREPROOF and End of the Spear.
New Blog Posts
I've been posting on the Youth Specialties blog for the past few months. For new youth ministry blog posts written by me and others visit here.
Lock-In Cheer
Ten reasons why I love (and hate) our annual youth lock-in:
10. Seeing the student’s faces when they realize that they must “endure” a worship service before the real fun starts (did they actually think we would let 600 students have fun without hearing the Gospel first?)
9. Watching them genuinely respond during the worship service, minds opened to Christ, calls to ministry felt, hearts broken…then five minutes later moshing each other in the blow up obstacle course.
8. Eating enough pizza to meet my youth pastor quota each year, chances are I will eat more than one pie, just to stay awake…and midnight trips to Denny’s sure do help the heartburn.
7. Church van smells are wonderfully different– liken to the smell of McDonald’s fries mixed with dirty sock.
6. Hugging students who are sweating before 10 PM with 8 hours still left on the clock. This is where the awkward side-hug rule becomes your glorious friend.
5. Unlimited go-cart rides. It’s not the go cart action that’s my favorite, it’s the inhalation of gas fumes all night long that keeps things exciting.
4. The giant Ferris-wheel of prayer. Why prayer? Because all leaders are praying that no one is making out at the top when the thing breaks down for ten minutes.
3. Volunteers love lock-ins. It’s like the purple heart of youth ministry for them.
2. Burning red eyes keep us relevant…New Moon is coming out soon.
But the number one reason I love (and hate) our annual lock-in is…
1. The memories connect our students to our youth group for a long time (or scar them for the same duration). Either way, it’s a night no one forgets and the outcomes are definitely worth the five years of life I lose each year in spite of it.
10. Seeing the student’s faces when they realize that they must “endure” a worship service before the real fun starts (did they actually think we would let 600 students have fun without hearing the Gospel first?)
9. Watching them genuinely respond during the worship service, minds opened to Christ, calls to ministry felt, hearts broken…then five minutes later moshing each other in the blow up obstacle course.
8. Eating enough pizza to meet my youth pastor quota each year, chances are I will eat more than one pie, just to stay awake…and midnight trips to Denny’s sure do help the heartburn.
7. Church van smells are wonderfully different– liken to the smell of McDonald’s fries mixed with dirty sock.
6. Hugging students who are sweating before 10 PM with 8 hours still left on the clock. This is where the awkward side-hug rule becomes your glorious friend.
5. Unlimited go-cart rides. It’s not the go cart action that’s my favorite, it’s the inhalation of gas fumes all night long that keeps things exciting.
4. The giant Ferris-wheel of prayer. Why prayer? Because all leaders are praying that no one is making out at the top when the thing breaks down for ten minutes.
3. Volunteers love lock-ins. It’s like the purple heart of youth ministry for them.
2. Burning red eyes keep us relevant…New Moon is coming out soon.
But the number one reason I love (and hate) our annual lock-in is…
1. The memories connect our students to our youth group for a long time (or scar them for the same duration). Either way, it’s a night no one forgets and the outcomes are definitely worth the five years of life I lose each year in spite of it.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Let me check my cell.
I recently returned from a summer mission trip where we made the unfathomable decision to collect cell phones for an entire week. A few students needed us to help them through the night sweats and uncontrollable shaking, but for the most part, by day two, all was well in the world.
We ended up having a week of deepened relationships, focused conversation, and focused service to others. Students could call their parents from the adult leaders' cell phones but other than that, they were free...so to speak.
Three days after our trip I found myself in our local college/ young adult ministry setting. We meet in a local coffee bistro with live music and awesome discussion. My husband is the leader, so I love the ministry, 30 Below is something I look forward to every week. However, one thing was really obvious to me after having a week free of technological interruption, everyone around me (dozens of people sitting around tables) sat in this all too familiar conversation with eyes darting every few minutes to their lit up phones. Even if it was to simply "check the time", we were all there...but not really. I started to wonder if I too, if our phones have become our safety, our fall-out plan.
I put my phone in my purse and tried my best not to look at it during the discussion. I'm already distracted enough. How do we get to know people when we are constantly holding, typing, looking, messing, and obsessing over our phones?
There's plenty of good reasons to have constant contact with our cell phone appendage, however, when should we take a break, if only for a few minutes to connect face to face?
I would love to know what other youth leaders and people think about phones, texting, etc. in the youth setting. Restricting them can mean a loss of relationships in a program setting. How do we find a good balance? How do we convince students that there is something really cool to enter into (life) when we set them down for a little while, when it's very hard to do ourselves?
Just thinking...as my cell phone ironically buzzes my desk.
We ended up having a week of deepened relationships, focused conversation, and focused service to others. Students could call their parents from the adult leaders' cell phones but other than that, they were free...so to speak.
Three days after our trip I found myself in our local college/ young adult ministry setting. We meet in a local coffee bistro with live music and awesome discussion. My husband is the leader, so I love the ministry, 30 Below is something I look forward to every week. However, one thing was really obvious to me after having a week free of technological interruption, everyone around me (dozens of people sitting around tables) sat in this all too familiar conversation with eyes darting every few minutes to their lit up phones. Even if it was to simply "check the time", we were all there...but not really. I started to wonder if I too, if our phones have become our safety, our fall-out plan.
I put my phone in my purse and tried my best not to look at it during the discussion. I'm already distracted enough. How do we get to know people when we are constantly holding, typing, looking, messing, and obsessing over our phones?
There's plenty of good reasons to have constant contact with our cell phone appendage, however, when should we take a break, if only for a few minutes to connect face to face?
I would love to know what other youth leaders and people think about phones, texting, etc. in the youth setting. Restricting them can mean a loss of relationships in a program setting. How do we find a good balance? How do we convince students that there is something really cool to enter into (life) when we set them down for a little while, when it's very hard to do ourselves?
Just thinking...as my cell phone ironically buzzes my desk.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Random
I'm currently in my 15th week of pregnancy. This blog is for the curious middle schoolers who would like to know:
1) Sorry, we don't know if the baby is a boy or a girl yet. Still five more weeks on that one.
2) Yes, I'm craving things. Feel free to leave super stacks of Pringles in my office (Salt & Vinegar please!)or Starburst candies (Reds and pinks only :)
3) I'm still attending the mission trip, camp, and ready for an awesome fall! Despite popular belief, we won't need a fork lift to move me out of my office until about week 30.
4) My baby is the size of a large naval orange and can do a triple back handspring.
and
5) No, we cannot name him or her after a Jonas Brother or any Disney diva...just won't happen. Kirra thinks we should name him or her "Tiger" but she is two and likes golf, what can we say?
Love to my HPNY students, you're the best.
1) Sorry, we don't know if the baby is a boy or a girl yet. Still five more weeks on that one.
2) Yes, I'm craving things. Feel free to leave super stacks of Pringles in my office (Salt & Vinegar please!)or Starburst candies (Reds and pinks only :)
3) I'm still attending the mission trip, camp, and ready for an awesome fall! Despite popular belief, we won't need a fork lift to move me out of my office until about week 30.
4) My baby is the size of a large naval orange and can do a triple back handspring.
and
5) No, we cannot name him or her after a Jonas Brother or any Disney diva...just won't happen. Kirra thinks we should name him or her "Tiger" but she is two and likes golf, what can we say?
Love to my HPNY students, you're the best.
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